RA Thesis and Body Paragraph

I chose the article "Wal-Martian Invasion"

Thesis: The article, "Wal-Martian Invasion" presents an ineffective argument to convince Americans that Wal-Mart stores, and their mass expansion, are an issue in our country today due to the informal diction, vagueness of examples, and excessive over exaggeration. Because of these faults the author fails to convince her readers that a change needs to occur.

Body Paragraph: Over exaggeration through the entire article fails to establish a sense of credibility in Enrenreich. Excessive exaggeration dissuades the reader of the point that Ecnrereich is trying to make. The reader has a hard time believing that she truly knows what she is talking about. Enrereich is giving her straight opinion and fails to back up her argument with valid facts from a valid source. "Earth to Wal-Mars, or wherever you come from: Live with us or go back to the mothership." By saying that the Walmart company and employees are from another world Enrenreich demonstrates that her view of the issue is too clouded by her own opinion to include actual facts and statistics about the issue. This diminishes her credibility as a writer.